


Afraid to Fly

by dusty_violet



Category: British Actor RPF, Doctor Who RPF
Genre: Gen, Inspired By Tumblr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-30
Updated: 2013-08-05
Packaged: 2017-12-21 20:29:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/904562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dusty_violet/pseuds/dusty_violet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by anonymous asks on the lovely tumblr of mattsmithissexy</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Just Rach

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know why this grabbed me, but it did, and I had to write it.
> 
> First time writing RPF. Not beta read or Britpicked, so please inform me if you see any mistakes and I'll fix 'em.  
> Also, if you've got a better title suggestion, hit me.
> 
> I've tried to keep everything as accurate to Who as possible, but for the sake of the story, let's just assume they are filming at least one scene from the Christmas Special in Spain (semi-AU then I guess?). If I messed up something that majorly contradicts canon, please tell me.
> 
> And without any further ado... story!

                “Rachael!” He exclaims in greeting, his newly-toned arms embracing you in a quintessential Matt Smith hug. You wrap your arms around his waist and squeeze weakly, the only reply you are brave enough to make. How on Earth you were fortunate enough to win this trip to watch the filming of the Doctor Who Christmas Special is beyond you, but you don’t care – you’re going to Spain to film on location with the cast and crew!

                Too soon (for you at least), Matt pulls back, resting his hands loosely on your arms above your elbows. He looks at you, his face goes all funny for a moment before he finally mutters, “we’ve met before, haven’t we?’

                You can’t help but grin and hope he doesn’t notice the red tinge coloring your face. “Once… or twice…” you answer him sheepishly. “Please, just call me Rach.”

                Matt smiles so widely, his eyes crinkle. “Well then, Rach, we’re waiting on one more person and then we’ll be off!” He fishes his mobile from his pocket, swipes the screen a few times with an elongated finger, and then returns it to his coat. His gaze shifts to outside the window of the BBC Broadcasting House in London, when a familiar petite figure bounces into view, chestnut locks swaying with each step. Your heart leaps as you recognize Jenna Coleman’s silhouette walking in the front door.

                “Hello, hello!” she waves to each of you as she walks over. Matt gives her a one-armed hug as she kisses his cheek (standing on her tip-toes despite the adorable wedge heels she’s got on). “And you must be Rachael,” she addresses you fondly, as if you’d been friends for ages. You accept her brief hug while squeeing on the inside.

                “Just Rach, please,” you begin to inform her, but your words drop off when you hear Matt telling Jenna, “Actually, she prefers to be called Rach.” _Did he just_ correct _her for me?_ Your brain screams. This is shaping up to be your best fan encounter with Matt Smith yet!

                “Rach, sorry,” Jenna echoes. “Shall we get going, then? My assistant is in the cab with my bags.” She gestures outside to the waiting car.

                “Blimey, Jenna, we won’t all fit in there with your luggage!” Matt teases. “You go in that one; we’ll take the next one. A bigger one,” he insists.

                She rolls her eyes at her co-star. “Fine. See you there,” she agrees.

                Matt grabs two large wheeled suitcases which were formerly leaning against the wall, and the two of you exit to the street, where a minivan is waiting to accommodate both you and your luggage. The cabbie helps you load the bags into the boot and Matt chivalrously slides the door open, motioning for you to get in first. He gets in after you and closes the door. “Heathrow, please,” he tells the cabbie.

                _Heathrow_. Your stomach drops. When you found out you had won the trip, you had just assumed you’d be traveling by train, since that’s how you always travel. You’d completely forgotten that everyone else just gets on a plane when they want to go somewhere. It didn’t even cross your mind to ask. And now, sitting in the back of the cab next to your celebrity crush, it’s too late to back out. You’re on your way to the airport to board a plane and fly across the Channel.

                Matt stops speaking when he realizes you aren’t paying attention to his words. “Did you forget to pack something, Rach?” he asks, misinterpreting your wide-eyed expression. Had he been talking to you all along?

                “I…” you swallow. “I’m afraid of flying.”

                He looks at you quizzically for a moment. “But you must’ve known we’d be taking a flight to Spain,” he begins softly.

                “I thought… the train,” you reply. “Your assistant made all the reservations, I didn’t know…” _Not now_ , you scold the tears beginning to form in your eyes.

                You blink them back and, fast as a weeping angel, you feel his hand close around yours. “It’s alright,” he soothes. “I fly all the time, it’s perfectly safe.”

                “I know,” you whisper.

                “You _can_ do this,” he answers slowly. It feels like one of the Doctor’s motivational pep-talks, but this one’s different: it came from Matt, not The-Doctor-Scripted-by-Steven-Moffat. Touched by his authenticity, you nod.

                His hand squeezes yours. “I’ll make the TARDIS brake noise if you like,” he teases.

                You’re completely incapable of stopping the resulting grin before it sweeps across your mouth; something about that man always leaves you smiling.

                Finally the cab stops outside of Heathrow Airport. Jenna’s already waiting at the curb, surrounded by an assortment of suitcases which one of the airline workers is helping her load onto a trolley.

                Matt pays the cabbie, who gets out to unload your bags. The actor’s eyes search yours with concern. “Ready?”

                “Yes,” you answer him after a while.

                He thinks for a moment. “Do you want me to tell Jenna?” he offers.

                You nod in agreement. Hopefully it will spare you the potential awkwardness of having to explain to her yourself. You’ve only just met the woman, after all – you don’t want her to think you’re some kind of freak.

                The two of you join Jenna on the sidewalk and together you make your way through the airport, through security, to the gate. With all their frequent flier miles, you get to wait in the lounge where the chairs are more comfortable, away from the gaping crowds and the discreetly photographing fans.

                And wait you shall. As it turns out, the plane you were supposed to be on had a minor mechanical issue, so they’ve brought in another plane, just landed from Madrid. You try not to freak out ( _you very nearly got on a broken plane!_ ), but Matt’s at your side again (“It’s alright, they’re getting us a new one, it’s already passed inspection”). His voice grounds you; calm slowly settles around you. There’s nothing left to do but wait for your flight to be called.


	2. Prepare for Takeoff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, this is my first time writing RPF, and this hasn't been beta read or Britpicked, so please inform me if you see any mistakes in grammar/spelling/punctuation/sentence structure/British colloquialisms/Doctor Who canon and I will happily fix them :)

The minutes pass quickly in terminal five of Heathrow Airport. Jenna's texting on her mobile, smiling at the screen every time the device dings - it must be Richard on the other end. Matt (bless him) is doing his best to keep you distracted; you two discuss your favorite scenes from Party Animals and Womb, which must be a welcome change from the same Doctor Who questions he's fielded from reporters and fans over and over again. If he notices you fiddling with your hands and jiggling your legs, he doesn't bring it up. 

"Ladies and gentlemen, we are now ready to board flight 1806 to Barcelona, starting with first class passengers," the flight attendant announces.

"That's us," Jenna states, storing her mobile in her purse. She stands up and gives you an encouraging smile. Matt stands, too, but you find yourself frozen in your seat. 

He crouches before you and takes your hands gently in his, not unlike the forest scene in Flesh and Stone. "Rach, it's okay. We know you can do this. We'll be with you the entire time," he reassures you. Can he feel how your hands are trembling?

Jenna's hand rests comfortingly on your shoulder. “She’s really scared, Matt. Are you sure that pushing her is a good idea?”

His jade green eyes flick up to her cocoa brown ones, then return to your face. “I think she’ll regret it later if she doesn’t at least try,” he replies, voicing your innermost thoughts.

"Why don't we take our seats," she suggests. "It's going to be awhile before everyone gets on, so you have time to change your mind if you really need to get off the plane." You break eye contact with Matt to look up at her as she speaks; her words persuade you to attempt it. After all,  _they_  need to get on that plane so they can go and film - you don't want to feel like you're holding them back. This is an extremely important episode for Doctor Who – especially with what will be happening in the upcoming 50th anniversary special.

Your seats are on the right side of the plane, offering you a strategic view of the open door through which you entered. Matt instructs Jenna to take the window seat ("She's the littlest, you can look right over her") and puts you in between her and himself, taking up the aisle seat with his gangly giraffe legs ("I'll just jump right up if you need to get into the aisle"). 

The engine is humming dully beneath you, causing the seats to rumble like a massage chair on its lowest setting. The seat itself is fairly comfortable, for an airplane – but then again, this is first class. Matt asks you twice if you’re okay, and you say yes both times. It’s not bad just sitting here. It’s what comes next that has you frightened.

“Still good?” he asks again. His face is _right there_ when you turn your head to look at him, and you really hope he doesn’t notice the hitch in your breath. It takes you a full second to regain your composure before you can answer him “yeah, good.”

“Stop bothering the poor girl, Matty,” Jenna chides.

“Oi, Coleman!” he retorts in feigned indignation. “I’m not bothering you, am I?” he inquires.

“No, it’s alright,” you tell him. The protectiveness is actually rather sweet, but you don’t have the courage to admit that to him right now.

While trying to keep your nerves under control, you hadn’t noticed the plane fill with other passengers, both business and holiday travelers. The fasten seat belt sign dings on and a flight attendant announces she will be closing the cabin door in a minute. Unconsciously, your hands grip the arm rests.

Jenna pulls out the SkyMall catalog from the pocket of the seat in front of her and holds it so you can both read it. “You’ve got to see this, Rach, they have the silliest products in here!” she gushes. “Look, a toilet seat for cats!” she points out a picture of a confused-looking feline perched on the loo, which has you both giggling.

“Show her the gadgets, Jenna – it’s got the absolute _strangest_ electronics for sale,” Matt chimes in. By the time the three of you look up from the selection of battery-powered, remote-controlled massage booties that look more like medical torture devices than relaxation aids, the cabin door has been shut. Miniature video screens drop down from the ceiling, playing a safety video set to cheesy background music.

“In the event of a water landing…” the voice begins; but Matt claps his hands over your ears to keep the instructions from frightening you. It’s scary enough just watching the video demonstrate how to put on the inflatable life vest. You nearly jump out of your seat when the screen shows gas masks dropping down from the ceiling panels. _What the_ bloody hell _have I gotten myself into?_ You wonder, clutching the arm rests tighter.

The video ends and the flight attendants take their seats in the back of the jet. Matt’s hands release your face, and he searches your expression once more for any signs of panic. “You won’t need to know any of that,” he reassures you, “because we’re going to have a nice, smooth flight and then go shoot this episode, yeah?” He nudges your knee gently with his, making you smile. It’s his last episode, and you really _shouldn’t_ smile at that, but... Matt’s face... enough said.

Not the mention the glimpse you just got of his absurdly patterned neon socks.

Then the plane starts to move. Startled, you cling to the arm rests for dear life. “It’s alright, Rach,” Jenna soothes in a low voice. She gestures out the window. “Look, we’re only driving to the runway – just like a car.” You allow yourself to relax slightly when you realize she’s right, but you still know what’s coming, and it unnerves you. It’s been years since you last did this, and you can’t recall what it felt like.  You watch through the teeny oval window as the plane meanders its way down wide tarmac pathways painted with brightly-colored lines. _It_ is _an awful lot like riding in a car_ , you think. _Not so bad at all_.

The plane stops when it reaches the runway, while the pilots wait for clearance from the air traffic controllers. Matt takes the opportunity to liberate your hand from the poor, strangled arm rest and holds it in his own, lacing his long fingers between yours.

“Here we go!” Jenna announces, eyes bright with excitement. The engines roar to life beneath you, and the plane surges forward.

You squeeze Matt’s hand in terror until you can feel practically every bone beneath his flesh. “TARDIS noise!” you plead, wide-eyed. After a brief moment, he gets it, and it’s like a switch has been flipped. You’re sitting next to the Doctor now.

“Right then! Clara, the zig-zag plotter, if you please!”

Jenna – _Clara_ – presses the volume buttons on her arm rest, not missing a beat. “Doctor!” she exclaims, just how Clara would.

The plane pulls up from the runway, and you hear a mechanical whirring as the wheels retract into the belly of the jet. Matt attempts to cover the sound with his wheezing impersonation of the TARDIS, which has Jenna rolling her eyes at him.

The ascent continues with some light jostling and some changes in cabin pressure that make your head feel heavy one moment and near-weightless the next. You squeeze Matt’s hand with each rumble of the “time vortex,” as he explains in a whisper, reminding you that it’s always a bumpy ride when River Song isn’t flying the TARDIS. _I bet it’s bumpy when River and the Doctor are alone in the TARDIS_ , you catch yourself thinking, your fear momentarily suspended. Matt gives you a funny knowing smile when you snicker to yourself – _oh god, what if he remembers that time I asked him about Alex Kingston?!_ – and squeezes your hand back.

He brings his head closer to your ear so he can whisper, “see, not so bad, was it?” He presses a quick kiss lightly to the crown of your head and settles back into his seat, closing his eyes for an in-flight snooze. He leaves his hand in yours.

“I think you’d make a great companion, Rach!” Jenna affirms. She rewards your bravery with a peek at the first page of Steven’s script (“Just don’t tell him! He’d kill off Clara _again_ – and the real one this time, not just an echo!”), which she pulls from her carry-on bag. “Sorry about the stain on the corner,” she adds apologetically. “Earl grey.” She shrugs.

The plane has finally reached cruising altitude, and despite the knowledge that you’re traveling over eight hundred kilometres per hour, it feels nearly motionless. Outside the window there is nothing in sight but a gradient of azure. In the seat beside you, Matt’s fingers gradually relax between yours as he falls deeper into sleep.


	3. Unexpected Rough Air

                The two-hour flight is nearly half over, bringing the three of you even closer to the location where Matt and Jenna will be shooting scenes from the Christmas Special, along with the rest of the cast and crew. The first page of Jenna’s script is tantalizingly vague – which is probably why she allowed you to read it – so you still don’t have the slightest clue what this scene will be, or why it had to be shot in Spain instead of the sound stage in Cardiff. She’s being deliberately evasive every time you ask her a question about it; no doubt Steven Moffat has her on a short leash, so you respectfully back off.

                “Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking,” a disembodied voice announces. “Our flight path is taking us through a patch of rough air ahead, so I’m going to turn the fasten seat belt sign back on–”  _ding!_ “and ask that you return to your seats. The weather in Barcelona is partly cloudy with a slight breeze out of the northeast, so we anticipate a smooth landing. Thank you and enjoy the flight.”

                You clench Matt’s hand tightly in yours, inadvertently rousing him from his nap. “What does he mean, rough air?” you ask Jenna tensely.

                “Probably just a few bumps,” she reassures you, cheerful as always. “Sometimes they say that, and it never happens at all!”

                “Are we there yet?” Matt mumbles, rubbing his eyes groggily.

                “Not yet,” his co-star informs him fondly. “Halfway.”

                He notices you’ve still got a firm grasp on his outstretched hand. “Are you doing alright, Rach?” he asks.

                “I’m okay, yeah,” you reply, quite pleased with yourself - but your flight still hasn’t landed safely on the ground yet.

                The plane begins to bounce a bit from side to side like driving on an unpaved country road. The jolts are uneven and unpredictable, and all you can do is hold onto Matt’s hand and hope it stops.

                A particularly large bump shakes the cabin, causing you to whimper involuntarily. “Not okay,” you mutter under your breath.

                Matt raises the arm rest between your seats and wraps his arm around your shoulders. “Come here,” he says, pulling you closer to him. You nestle against his side; his fingers rub soothingly up and down from your elbow to your shoulder. He rests his prominent chin gently on the top of your head.  Jenna’s clasped your other hand in hers and is running her soft thumb back and forth over it.

                 The plane gives a sudden lurch downward, and you cry out, squeezing Jenna’s hand and burying your face in Matt’s sleeve. “Shhh,” he whispers, his breath ruffling the fine flyaway hairs on your scalp.

                “It’s not supposed to do that – are we going to crash?” you utter. Your breath comes faster and shallower in your chest.

                Matt’s grip around you tightens comfortingly. “No, we’re not going to crash,” he assures you. “It’s just a little turbulence, it happens sometimes.” He pauses. “Happens to Jenna all the time, doesn’t it, Coleman?” He chuckles to himself, his frame rumbling beside you.

                “God, yes!” she answers. “All the bloody time! Matt gets these nice, smooth flights that he just sleeps right through – and I get roller coaster rides!” She feigns annoyance, but it’s apparent she really enjoys flying.

                You go rigid as the plane drops again, that sinking sensation hitting you hard in the pit of your stomach. A wave of nausea washes over you, and you must look pale, because Jenna’s passing you a small paper bag and you can guess what its intended purpose is. _I will_ not _be sick on_ this _plane, with_ these _people_ , you tell yourself resolutely, refusing to open the bag.

                “Breathe, Rach,” Matt reminds you. You can still feel him exhaling warmly on the top of your head, and you slow your lungs down to match. “Good girl,” he praises softly, so only you can hear. “Very good… so very brave.”

                The cabin continues to vibrate sporadically, but with much less intensity, as you breathe in time with Matt and try to relax. You eventually hand the paper bag back to Jenna, and she beams at you with pride, giving your hand a light squeeze. “You’re doing _so_ well,” she compliments you.

                “Cheers,” you reply. “Thank you both.” The captain turns the seat belt sign back off and you sigh in relief, knowing the worst is over. Matt takes his arm back, to your disappointment, but he offers you his hand again as a replacement. It’s large and warm and lanky, like the rest of him, and you gladly take it in your own as the plane cruises onwards over French airspace.


	4. Happy Landings

                Matt bounces your interlocked hands on his thigh, capturing your attention. “So... Rach,” he begins cautiously. His gaze is focused downwards, onto his lap. "Have you never flown before?"

                “No, I have,” you correct him. “Once, when I was younger.”

                He regards you intently. “What happened?” he asks softly, as if he were afraid to ask.

                “Nothing traumatic or anything!” you interject in an effort to assuage his concern. “I just... it was a long while ago, and I can't remember, that's all." 

                “Hmm,” Matt vocalizes, studying your face like he’s deciding whether or not to believe you.

                “I was too little to know there was anything to be afraid of,” you add sincerely.

                “And then you grew up,” he continues.

                “Every day there’s plane crashes in the movies, in the news – _all_ the time,” your voice breaks.

                “Oh, Rach,” he sighs, squeezing your hand in his. “It’s not really like that. It only seems that way.”

                “Matt’s right,” Jenna chimes in over your shoulder. “Thousands of planes land safely every day. It’s only the ones where something goes wrong that get on the telly.”

                “I’ll feel better once we’re on the ground again,” you reply.

                Right on cue, a flight attendant comes on the loudspeaker. “Ladies and gentlemen, the pilot has requested that you return to your seats and fasten your seat belts as we begin our descent. Flight attendants will be coming through the cabin to collect any trash before our final approach.” There is a sound of clicking that reverberates throughout the interior of the aircraft as the passengers reattach their seat belts, topped off by the innocent _ding_ of the fasten seat belt light.

                “What is the landing going to be like?” you ask Jenna, unsure what to expect.

                “I don’t even notice it, not really – you can’t tell until you see the ground getting bigger outside the window,” she replies. “And then you feel the wheels hit the ground again, and it’s all over.”

                “It’s not like falling?” you inquire nervously.

                “No, not at all!” she assures you in a distinctly Coleman way. “It’s very gradual.”

                Relief floods through you. “Good,” you exhale. Jenna flashes you an excited smile.

                “Just wait ‘til we get off this plane and on set,” Matt’s voice is deep, rumbling through you at your point of contact and vibrating dully in your core. _Did he just say what I think he said? In_ that _tone of voice?!_ Your mind races through possibilities you’ve only ever dreamed of before now. “I can’t wait for you to meet Moff – and, of course, Jenna will have to introduce you to her new co-star!”

                Oh. _Oh! He just meant the episode,_ you realize. _How foolish of me to think he meant… something else._ Still, he did just tell you you’re going to meet Peter Capaldi, which is an absolutely thrilling prospect. His name had only just been announced as the Twelfth Doctor, and as a die-hard Whovian, you’re extremely curious how he’ll approach the role.

                “TWELVE IS GOING TO BE THERE?!” you exclaim, unable to rein in your fangirling.

                Matt’s smile is bittersweet.

                “I mean – I don’t want you to leave–” you interrupt, “of _course_ not, I think you’re brilliant! But a new Doctor is going to be really different and exciting and just _fantastic!_ ”

                “You don’t care that he’s… well, older?” he asks.

                “The Doctor’s a thousand years old already; how old he _looks_ is irrelevant,” you respond.

                “Wish more people thought like you,” Jenna says off-handedly. “My agent’s already getting angry fan mail saying Clara shouldn’t be snogging the new Doctor ‘cause he’s old enough to be her father.”

                “Clara’s seen all his faces – she said so,” you reply. Jenna nods in confirmation. “He’s looked older lots of times before. I don’t think she’ll be put off by it; he’s still her Doctor.”

                “Moff’s going to _love_ you,” Matt informs you, grinning that goofy way he does.

                “Look!” Jenna points out the window. The scene of blue skies and fluffy cumulus clouds has been replaced by distant roads snaking back and forth across countryside. The ground seems to approach closer and closer as you descend, but she was right – you don’t feel anything different about it. You can see buildings now, and houses, clustered into neighborhoods and villages and towns and cities.

                Before you know it, you’re on the ground, startled out of your seat with a jolt that has you grabbing instinctively for Matt’s hand. He sandwiches yours between both of his.

                “Shhh,” he tells you, “it’s over, you did it, we’re here.” He brings your hand to his mouth, kissing it softly. “You did great, Rach.” He winks.

                _He winked!_ you shout internally.

                “That was _really_ good, Rach,” Jenna adds. “You were awesome!”

                _Matt winked at me!_ your brain continues to scream. It’s enough to fuel your fantasies for months.

                “I think you broke her, Matty,” she whispers after a minute in which you still haven’t replied.

                “No, no, I’m fine,” you recover quickly, trying your hardest not to blush scarlet at being discovered. “Really, I’m good. Let’s go film a special!”

                Matt’s mobile rings. “Oi, Moff! We’ve just landed,” he tells the device. “Jenna and I will be there straight away. Just wait ‘til you meet this fan!”


End file.
